Tam Coc / Ninh Binh (North Vietnam)

TAM COC / NINH BINH:

Tam Coc:

After some real fun in the hectic, high-octane big city of Hanoi, Barbie and I were looking for a quieter change of pace—somewhere more in tune with nature.

When you look at the map for northern Vietnam, your main options are the famous UNESCO World Heritage site of Halong Bay, the mountain hill station of Sapa up near the Chinese border, or Ninh Binh, which is famous for the jaw-dropping karst landscape surrounding the village of Tam Coc.

We decisively chose Ninh Binh.  We actively wanted to avoid the massive tourist traps of Halong Bay and Sapa for a variety of reasons I’ll get into below.

Now, full disclosure: there is absolutely nothing to do in the actual town of Ninh Binh itself, aside from sitting on a plastic stool and drinking cold beers with the locals.  The real charm of heading out here is escaping the town entirely to explore the surrounding countryside of Tam Coc.

Shacking Up at the Tam Coc Garden Resort

When it comes to picking a base camp out here, the absolute no-brainer, “go-to” place to hunker down is the Tam Coc Garden Resort.

We opted to splurge a bit and stay at this higher-end boutique spot simply because we wanted to be completely isolated in the thick of nature and away from the noise.  Tam Coc Garden absolutely delivered the serenity.  Our room overlooked sweeping green rice fields and massive, towering limestone mountain karsts.

The resort has an awesome pool, and they provide free bicycles to ride around the scenic country paths.  We spent our days cycling through the fields, navigating local villages, and checking out various hidden temples, pagodas, and caves.

The Climb Up Hang Mua

One afternoon, we pedaled out from the resort through Tam Coc Village over to Hang Mua.  From there, we tackled the steep, rugged hike up the mountain staircase.

Let me tell you, the trek up is an absolute “must-do,” especially during the May–June window when the rice fields are intensely green and ready for harvest.  It is a real cool spot.  We could have spent hours up at the summit simply watching the world go by below us.

Once you get out of the major concrete jungles in Vietnam, you realize this country is blessed with some of the absolute best scenery in all of Southeast Asia.

Riding the Winding Rivers

The other big activity out here is taking a traditional wooden longboat up the winding Tam Coc river, floating right past the rice paddies and straight through massive limestone caves.

If you’re planning a trip out here, note that there are two separate boat excursions you can take:

• The Short Route: A relaxed 1-hour trip up the river that departs right outside the gates of the Tam Coc Garden Resort.
• The Long Route: A more extensive 2-hour river trip over toward Mua Cave, which departs from the main dock right in the middle of Tam Coc Village.

Many travelers refer to the Ninh Binh and Tam Coc region as “Halong Bay on Land,” because it shares the exact same dramatic topography.  For us, Tam Coc proved to be a million times more relaxing and a superior alternative to the chaotic, boat-choked waters of the actual Halong Bay.

This is precisely what I love most about our extended around-the-world journey.  Traveling with absolutely no time constraints allows us to make spontaneous, last-minute decisions without being locked down by an itinerary planned months in advance.  It is usually these unplanned, audibled decisions that turn out to be the most fun.

Think of it like constructing and putting in your final Pick 4 horse racing ticket minutes before the first leg rather than early in the morning.  Some new shit comes to light on the ground, and it affords you the perfect opportunity to factor in some last-minute changes and win big.

The Official Big Doug Loose Stools Index

🚽 Loose Stools Index: 9/10 (Solid As A Rock)

Everything is completely cool, and Big Doug is good to go in Tam Coc.  All the fresh, clean ingredients in the Vietnamese diet have proven to be incredibly cleansing and have helped solidify all bowel movements.  I am officially rolling out of town with all guns loaded as we head straight to the culinary food capital of Vietnam—Hoi An.

Thru the Binocs: Why We Bagged Halong Bay

Some people might question how we could casually take a pass on a world-renowned, bucket-list site like Halong Bay—or any other major tourist magnet, for that matter.

Look, Halong Bay is famous for a reason.  It’s gorgeous on postcards, and everyone wants to see it. But because Barbie and I have been traveling for so long, I’ve learned how to read between the lines and pick our spots wisely.  In this case, I envisioned a once-beautiful natural wonder now completely overrun with hundreds of tourist boats and the inevitable, nasty pollution that goes hand-in-hand with hyper-popularity.  Consequently, we took a hard pass.

Most travelers heading to Halong Bay book a standard junk boat cruise.  These trips let you sleep out on the water and vary from quick day-trips to multi-night itineraries spanning various budgets and levels of luxury.  But the mental image of a shitload of these identical tourist boats circling the bay, packed to the gills with tour groups all visiting the exact same crowded caves at the exact same time, was an immediate no for me.

The other aspect that I knew would absolutely piss me off is the environmental degradation.  The sheer beauty of the limestone outcrops is impressive, but floating trash thrown overboard and being trapped on a rigid itinerary with no escape from the crowds made it unacceptable for Big Doug.  Hearing firsthand stories through the traveler grapevine about the water quality being an oil slick was the final nail in the coffin.  I also heard the local beaches are packed with hundreds of people crammed into tiny areas, where you can’t even enjoy the ocean breeze because you’re breathing in heavy gasoline fumes discharged from the idling boats.  Ugh.  You really have to wonder how long a place can keep its protected UNESCO Heritage badge when it’s being treated like that.

A Lesson in Caring for the Land

A fellow traveler we met told us they went swimming in Halong Bay and came out engulfed in a literal layer of oil slick coming from the abundance of older, environmentally unfriendly engines shuttling tourists around.  Nothing gets under my skin more than pollution caused by people simply not giving a crap.

In most parts of rural Asia, there seems to be a disconnect with public waste.  Inexplicably, people feel it’s totally fine to throw their trash straight onto the street or into the local rivers.  It’s a massive issue, and it mostly stems from a lack of environmental education in schools.

It made me think back to Hawaii, where schools teach the kids from a very young age to respect the Aina (love and care for the land) and emphasize the importance of keeping it clean.  Because of that culture, the beaches out there are spotless.  You won’t find garbage on the sides of the roads.  And on the rare occasion you do spot a stray cigarette butt in the sand on a Hawaiian beach, it was probably dropped there by an ugly American tourist on holiday from the mainland.

The Tragedy of Ko Phi Phi

Another beautiful paradise that has been completely spoiled by uninhibited tourism is Maya Beach on Ko Phi Phi, Thailand.  The Phi Phi islands used to be an absolute, untouched gem of a place, but today they are an absolute clusterfuck.

Mother Nature tried to send a stern message to Thailand when the devastating tsunami struck in 2004.  Ton Sai Village on the main island of Phi Phi Don was basically wiped off the map.  The locals had a blank slate to completely rebuild the infrastructure responsibly.  And what did the greedy developers do?  They overbuilt the island even worse than before, to the point where it is now bursting at the seams with trash and crowds.  Absolutely nothing was learned from the tragedy.

Today, Ko Phi Phi is good for exactly one thing: partying.  If you are looking to get blackout drunk with college-aged backpackers, it’s a haven.  The neon lights, loud music, and cheap alcohol flow continuously.  But for the rest of us who have aged out of that bracket, the islands have been completely ruined.

Back in the day, a boat trip to Maya Beach was sheer paradise on earth.  Then the movie The Beach came along starring Leonardo De Crappio, and that’s all it took to permanently ruin a magical hidden gem.  It’s incredibly unfortunate that the most beautiful places on this planet never stay secret for long.  I could go on a massive rant about other highly touted spots around the world that have been choked out by commercial tourism (I am looking right at you, Great Wall of China), but ain’t nobody got time for that.

For now, the bags are packed, the digestive tract is solid, and the us flashpackers are heading south.