IDF to ‘No Worries’: Israel to the Gold Coast
Our marathon flight from Tel Aviv to Brisbane hit the record books and officially goes down as the single longest flight on our entire journey so far. Three grueling legs for us Flashpackers: Tel Aviv to Frankfurt (4 hours), Frankfurt to Singapore (14 hours), and Singapore to Brisbane (8 hours).
We opted to arrive in Brisbane because we wanted to explore the state of Queensland first, where the climate is tropical all year round. This allows us to bide our time and reach the other Australian states—like New South Wales, Victoria, and Western Australia—during their peak summer months.
Most countries on our Southeast Asian leg last year only gave us tight 30-day visas. Australia, however, granted us a one-year multiple-entry visa that allows us to stay for up to three months at a time. If we want to stretch it, we just have to pop out of the country and re-enter to trigger another 30-day or three-month clock. Australia is so massive that trying to cover its highlights at our preferred slow-travel pace means three months is barely going to scratch the surface.
Shedding the Israeli Stress
As much as we absolutely loved Israel, it wasn’t until we actually landed in Australia that I first began to realize the true level of daily stress the Israeli people live under. Stress out there is physically in the air—it’s thick, and you could cut it with a knife. It’s unfortunate, but when you are completely surrounded by hostile bordering countries whose sole mission is the annihilation of your state, you too would be rightfully on edge. The Israelis have just learned to live with it; they probably don’t even recognize the underlying tension because it’s second nature to them.
But that stress radiates off people. It’s way more intense in places like Jerusalem and the Old City than it is in Tel Aviv. In those heavy areas, you’ve got the Israeli Defense Forces (IDF), the Israeli Police, the Border Police, the Yamam, the Yasam, and the Civil Guard—sitting right next to the Van Cortlandt Rangers—all packing serious heat and ready to kick ass if you get just slightly out of line.
Heading into Israel, the airline security personnel worked us into a nervous sweat by putting us through a relentless barrage of questioning before departure. We experienced the exact same intense interrogation on the way out. After surviving the “four questions” by the Israeli departure agents—and no, none of them were “Why is this night different from all other nights?”—we were herded through an intense security screening.
Then, we had to do actual battle just to board the plane. The second the gate agent announced boarding, it turned into a full-on cavalry charge with everyone pushing, shoving, and jockeying for position. I couldn’t understand why orderly lines didn’t exist. I’ve since learned that there is no such thing as an orderly line anywhere in Israel. If you go, sharpen your elbows and prepare for self-preservation. It’s a city law.
[The Cultural Shift]
Israel: High-Alert ──> Armed Guards ──> Sharp Elbows ──> Constant Defense
Australia: "No Worries" ──> Endless Coast ──> Natural Valium ──> Total Zen
I didn’t realize the magnitude of always being on guard until we landed in Oz—the land of “No Worries, Mate.” The moment we cleared customs, the stark culture and lifestyle difference hit us. We were immediately at ease.
Arrival in Australia was like taking one big natural Valium. A profound feeling of calmness just washed over my body. Walking the streets on our first sunny, steamy day in Brisbane, it felt like we had just entered Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory. Everything was perfect. It was like Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz stepping out of black-and-white and straight into vibrant Technicolor.
Traveling around this country is going to be a total piece of cake—probably the easiest of our 14 months on the road so far. I can officially turn my brain off again because there is no major dealing here. If you’re terrified of international travel, Australia is the absolute perfect place to get your feet wet. It is a pure pleasure to navigate. Just make sure you save up your frequent flyer miles and secure those business class seats, because Australia isn’t just Down Under—it’s on the complete other side of the world.
Driving Queensland
For our first leg in Oz, we are making our way up the entire coast of Queensland, which is absolutely saturated with some of the finest beach towns on earth. To hit these spots on our own schedule, we had to rent a car. And you know what that means? They drive on the wrong side of the road here, and it ain’t no joke trying to adjust. You have to pay absolute, undivided attention to stay in the proper lane or it is game over for you, Mate.
To make matters worse, every major intersection has massive traffic circles jetting off in every direction, adding to the driving confusion. Thankfully, I have Barbie in the passenger seat comforting me by barking out frantic orders and wrong directions at every single turn.
It’s not just other cars (and your co-pilot) you need to worry about on these highways. You also have to deal with random kangaroos, koalas, wild turkeys, and an assortment of other unidentifiable creatures sharing the asphalt with us. Let’s just see if my credit card insurance really has our backs if I return the vehicle with a kangaroo splattered across the front grill. After all, the rep told us, “No worries, mate, just decline the optional CDW.” I smell an impending corporate technicality.
Byron Bay: The Ultimate Beach Utopia
Byron Bay sits just south of Brisbane and absolutely rocks. It was total love at first sight when we arrived at this happy place. Have you ever had that completely relaxed, comfortable feeling where you roll into a new destination and it instantly feels like home? Where you are surrounded by people who possess the exact same casual outlook and slow-travel lifestyle as yourself? That’s the exact feeling I got the second we hit Byron Bay.
As soon as we drove into town and I saw that every single person was dressed exactly like me—board shorts and flip-flops—I knew I was in my element. It was perfect. If you know the 1990s song and music video No Rain by Blind Melon, you’ll understand the exact vibe.
[The Byron Bay Paradigm]
* Footwear: Board shorts and flip-flops only (they literally have flip-flop vending machines).
* Skyline: Zero high-rises. Completely untouched coastal aesthetics.
* The Vibe: Maui's surf town of Paia, but injected with pure performance steroids.
If you are a beach guy who lives by the creed of “no worries,” this is your Mecca. Regardless of your age, you will feel completely welcome in Byron. It’s a super laid-back, totally unpretentious beach hangout with a classic, old-school Aussie surf feel. What makes it so visually appealing is the strict lack of high-rises, which is an absolute rarity for popular beach towns nowadays.
The wide, sweeping beaches and crystal-clear waters are fantastic. The best spot by far is Wategos Beach, located slightly outside the town center along a scenic coastal walking trail. That’s where Barbie and I hung out every single day. If you are tired of the daily grind back home, looking to drop out of society, and want to escape to a land of supreme contentment… Byron Bay is where you begin that journey. Once you arrive, you may never leave.
Watching the Impending Doom of the USA
It was right here in a local Byron Bay pub, surrounded by a collection of international travelers spanning the entire globe, that I witnessed America being flushed completely down the toilet. The US election coverage was plastered across every single TV screen in the place. The eyeballs of every foreigner in the room were fixated on the screens with their mouths wide open—probably left open because they were all preparing to vomit.
I cannot begin to tell you how glad I am to be as far away from America as humanly possible right now. Out of sight, out of mind.
One of the things that consistently slaps me in the face while navigating all these different countries on our journey is how completely ass-backward America’s infrastructure is. Just about every single country I visit appears lightyears ahead of the United States. Throughout our travels, I am constantly seeing gleaming high-tech airports, flawless highways, massive new bridges, pristine public parks, efficient public transportation systems, and beautifully landscaped public spaces. It amounts to a far superior daily quality of life. For a country as wealthy as the US, it is a total disgrace. I guess that’s the one single thing I actually agree with the Orange One about.
I find myself constantly turning to Barbie during our walks and asking two simple questions: “Why isn’t our country like this?” and “Where should we buy today’s meat pie?”
Nimbin: The Deadhead Migration
While based in Byron Bay, we hopped into our classy rental car and set off for a one-hour drive inland. We cruised through rolling green hills, jagged mountains, and lush farmland before landing in the incredibly strange, tiny village of Nimbin.
During our round-the-world journey, Barbie and I are constantly uncovering small, isolated populations of old-school Deadheads. Following the death of Jerry Garcia, the tribe apparently scattered and migrated to a few select pockets around the globe. In Southeast Asia, they set up shop and are currently cooling out in the mountain town of Pai, Thailand. Now, I’ve officially uncovered another faction that crawled its way Down Under to seek refuge and form their own psychedelic community along the single-street village of Nimbin. Nimbin was a real trip. We came, we saw, we scored some local stash, and we rolled right back out.
Burleigh and Surfers Paradise:
We were sad to depart Byron Bay; the week we spent there absolutely flew by. Out of all the places we’ve hit on our global track, I could easily see myself signing a long-term lease in Byron.
To experience a bit more of the Queensland coast, we drove slightly north for a stay in Burleigh Heads. It’s a slightly different vibe than Byron, but still an awesome, low-key beach town with great youthful energy.
After a few days of soaking up Burleigh, we pushed further north into the heart of the Gold Coast to stay in the busiest, most commercialized strip of sand on the continent: Surfers Paradise. I was last here about 20 years ago, and I was absolutely astonished to see how it has developed. I spent the first afternoon trying to get my bearings because I didn’t recognize a single thing. It used to be famous for a raw, spring-break style party atmosphere, but it has grown into a massive metropolis of skyscrapers. Consequently, the gritty backpacker scene has been flushed right out of the center.
That said, if your mission is to wake up, hit a world-class beach, eat, shop all day, and party all night, Surfers is your spot. The wide, sweeping beach is first-rate, and the shorebreak waves can be absolute bone-crushers. The town is oozing with non-stop action and plenty of eye candy.
Now, we are officially leaving the Gold Coast behind and making our way up to the Sunshine Coast to hit Peregian Beach, Noosa Heads, Hervey Bay, and Fraser Island. From there, it’s deep into the Daintree Rainforest, where Barbie is thrilled to be surrounded by exotic wildlife, but absolutely dreading anything that walks on more than four legs.
Video – Currumbin Wildlife Sanctuary
Thru the Binocs
If you’ve been following this blog, you know that every country has its own signature national dish or “go-to” takeaway food item. In Israel, we stuffed our bellies with world-class shawarma and creamy hummus. In Australia, alongside the ubiquitous fresh fish and chips, the absolute iconic food item is the Meat Pie.
The meat pie is heavily intertwined with Australian culture, especially Australian Rules Football (AFL) and Rugby League—it is the ultimate, non-negotiable stadium snack. The old joke down here goes that a premier seven-course meal in Australia consists of a single meat pie and a six-pack of beer.
[The Anatomy of a Elite Meat Pie]
Flaky, Golden Pastry Crust (Must be baked in-house)
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Thick, Rich Gravy + Minced Steak or Chicken
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Optional Upgrades: Onion, Bacon, Mushroom, or Melted Cheese
So, what exactly is it? It’s a hand-sized pie stuffed to the brim with minced meat (usually premium steak or chicken) and rich, thick gravy. You can step the experience up a notch by finding versions packed with onions, bacon, mushrooms, or melted cheese.
The absolute key to a successful pie journey is finding a local, independent “Mom & Pop” bakery that bakes them fresh in-house daily. The entire experience hinges on mastering a flaky pastry crust and using top-quality cuts of meat. That is the make-or-break factor. You do not want to be tricked into buying those mass-produced, factory-generic pies sitting under heat lamps in commercial convenience stores. Those low-grade pies cater strictly to people too lazy to hunt down the good stuff. Avoid those “shit” meat pies at all costs—they aren’t even in the same ballpark as the bakery pies. Do your homework, ask the locals, and they will always point you to the quality shit.
My primary dietary goal while traveling through Australia is to average at least one high-quality meat pie per day, mixed with a heavy defensive dose of fresh fish and chips. The mission is officially underway.
The Official Big Doug Loose Stools Index
🚽 Loose Stools Index: 8.4/10
The digestive tract underwent a radical environmental shock over the last 48 hours, jumping from Middle Eastern chickpeas and spiced shawarma meats straight into heavy pastry crusts and rich brown gravies.
Big Doug & Barbie Drop Out of Society 