Bagan / Nyaung-U (Myanmar)

Bagan /Nyaung-U: 

Bagan is simply unique and easily one of the most fascinating places I have ever visited in Asia.  This throwback, dusty town has such an incredibly relaxed pace to it.  The absolute best way to describe the vibe here is that you feel as though you are mixed up in a bizarre combination of being a citizen from Rock Ridge in Blazing Saddles and a cast member on the old Wild West TV show F-Troop.  If you enjoy traveling, getting off the beaten path, and looking for a far-out experience that is completely out of the norm, Bagan will serve you well.

The city boasts the most historic landscape I’ve ever stepped foot on.  The biggest draw to Bagan is the 3,000+ world-renowned Buddhist temples spanning completely across the horizon.  This is a total temple town.  Many travelers claim the Bagan Archaeological Zone is an equal to Cambodia’s Angkor Wat—which was pretty damn impressive—but in my opinion, the areas where these temples are spread are much more tranquil than Angkor Wat.

Mainly, you have the total freedom to explore completely on your own without running into massive herds of tourists.  I have a feeling that as tourism continues to pick up out here, the quiet serenity of these desert temples will be compromised.  Glad we got here when we did.

Being the amateur historian that I am, drifting around these magnificent, detailed structures made me wonder what drove the ancient Burmese to build thousands of them.  Looking forward to the 25th century or later, I couldn’t help but question what epic structures my own country will leave behind.  We really need to get on the ball in the USA and begin building some good shit to leave for future generations, rather than the thousands of McDonald’s, Taco Bells, KFCs, and Burger Kings currently dotting the American landscape.

The E-Scooter Incident (Enter “Crash Siller”)

Because the temples are so heavily spread out, we opted to rent electric scooters to navigate the terrain.  This way, we didn’t have to sweat our butts off on conventional pedal bicycles in the blistering heat.  It was an absolute blast and incredibly peaceful to wander around at our own pace.

And the best news?  “Crash Siller” didn’t smack up her scooter.

⚠️ AMENDMENT: I Jumped the Gun

I originally wrote that last sentence the night before we left Bagan… and guess what? That left just enough time for Crash to do what she does best. On our final morning, she officially took down a local Burmese man on his scooter.

Fortunately, Barbie came out completely unscathed and didn’t even fall off her bike. The Burmese guy, however, tumbled straight to the ground. After Barbie insisted on stuffing 20,000 Kyat (about $14) into his pocket—which he initially refused but succumbed to her aggressive persistence—he was good to go, minus a potentially bruised rib. Nonetheless, Crash Siller was thoroughly frazzled, and her time driving anything moving is officially over for the foreseeable future. Somewhere back home, State Farm executives are dancing with joy that she is nowhere near US soil and completely off their umbrella policy.

Pass on the Balloon, Bring on the Massages

Apparently, a highly popular way to appreciate Bagan’s expansive layout is by taking to the sky in a hot air balloon during sunrise.  However, at a staggering price of US$350 per person for a basket stuffed with 12 to 16 passengers, we did not pull the trigger.

Whoever set those prices must be smoking absolute crack, and it’s the wealthy Western package tourists who are willingly supporting the habit.

[The Flashpacker Budget Trade-Off]
Option A: One 45-Minute Hot Air Balloon Ride ($350)
Option B: A Private Daily Massage for 30 Consecutive Days ($350) <── WINNER

Instead, we pocketed the $700 total and earmarked those exact funds to get a professional massage every single day for the next consecutive month.  The executive decision came down to a single balloon ride versus being pampered and rubbed on for 30 days straight.  Plus, massages seemed a wee bit safer than potentially plunging to your death in a wicker basket.  We opted to climb the steep stone stairs to the top of the highest temple and took in the sweeping views from there for free.

Pure Culture

One of the things I absolutely love about Myanmar is that the women all still wear their traditional clothing.  There has been zero succumbing to the Western fashion trends that have completely taken over neighboring Southeast Asian countries.  The locals look so pure and natural, and I deeply hope this never changes as the country continues to open its doors to the outside world.

We simply loved the super slow pace of this undeveloped little city.  Cruising around the local villages on the hot, dusty roads—stopping along the way at fresh coconut and fruit shake stands on our scooters—was pure joy.  It’s just another classic example of the simple things in life yielding the absolute most happiness.

🍽️ The Bagan Food Scene

When we weren’t dodging local traffic, we hit up a solid line of spots:

• Wetherspoons: Outstanding local burgers and great atmosphere.

• Be Kind to Animals Cafe: Fantastic vegetarian dishes near the temples.

• Aroma II: Incredible, authentic Indian food served under the stars.

• Novel Restaurant, La Tarraza, Zfreeti, Leo Cafe, Sarabha 2: All solid stops to cool down with a cold drink after a long day in the dust.

LOOSE STOOLS INDEX

• Rating: 8 / 10

Absolute smooth sailing in Bagan.  The digestive tract is handling the local Burmese spices like a absolute champ.  No complaints, no alarms, and zero internal drama.

Thru the Binocs

Remember the distinct, heavy smell of mothballs at your grandparents’ house when you were a kid?  Personally, I haven’t smelled that scent in at least 40 years.

But the second I boarded my Air Asia flight to Myanmar, which was packed with local Burmese passengers, I noticed the entire plane smelled distinctively like mothballs.  Then, upon checking into one of our guest houses, the exact same scent was emanating from the room.  I’ve smelled mothballs on a dozen other occasions out here—including, believe it or not, on their physical paper currency!

Who the heck is still using mothballs nowadays, and what is the play here?  Is it possible that mothballs are the new hip scent in this part of the world and the Burmese are just on the absolute cutting edge of fashion?

I am dedicated to getting to the bottom of this odd corporate mothball mystery, and I will report back the second something comes to light.