Ireland

Pink Hearts, Yellow Moons, Orange Stars, Green Clovers, Blue Diamonds, Purple Horseshoes, and Red Balloons!

Road Tripping the Wild Atlantic Way

We have officially touched down in Dublin to kick-start our month-long stint in Ireland!  Our entire itinerary out here is focused on hitting the rugged west and southwest coasts along the legendary route known as The Wild Atlantic Way.  Stretching across nine counties, it’s the longest defined coastal drive in all of Europe, famous for its jagged bays and massive sea cliffs.

Let me tell you right now, if your idea of a good time is driving through massive, beautiful open spaces flanked by rolling green hills, Ireland is for you.  If you want to see the world’s biggest, most relaxed cows and sheep, Ireland is for you.  And if you want to get real sloppy in cozy, warm pubs drinking the absolute best Guinness on tap on planet Earth—then Ireland is 100% for you.

Dublin:

We started in the capital, but “Pub City” feels like a much more accurate name.  The main activity in Dublin seems to be visiting an old-school pub, getting absolutely smashed, and maybe paying a side visit to the Guinness Storehouse or the Jameson Distillery to get a little more sloppy.

Right out of the gate, we made a classic rookie mistake: we rented our car immediately upon landing at the airport.  Don’t do this.  We should have waited until the exact day we were ready to leave Dublin.  There is absolutely nowhere to park in the city center—or even on the outskirts.

To make matters worse, there are virtually no street signs, and where they do exist, you can barely read them without coming to a dead stop.  Half the roads are two-way but only wide enough to fit a single car, meaning the fine art of yielding comes into play every ten seconds.  The highway signage is equally awful, and to add to the total chaos, everything is written in both English and Irish Gaelic. Trying to translate road signs while navigating a medieval layout makes Dublin one of the absolute crummiest cities I have ever driven in.

Galway: A Cool MF Bohemian Town

The drive from Dublin to Galway is a straight shot.  You can effectively cross the entire country from the east coast to the west coast in about two and a half hours.  Along the way, we pulled off in a completely off-the-radar, middle-of-nowhere town called Kilbeggan, famous for the Kilbeggan Distillery.  We didn’t bother visiting the distillery; we just used the town to take a piss and gas up.

Interestingly, the station was packed out with locals ordering from a massive buffet of homemade Irish food.  We’ve come to learn that out here, gas stations double as popular local lunch spots serving hot, cafeteria-style comfort food.  Barbie and I actually ended up having a few romantic lunches at these roadside gas stations.

The second we rolled into Galway, I knew this was one cool MF town.  This bohemian spot has so much character—it’s oozing with atmosphere, incredibly friendly locals, and a shitload of Irish pubs lining the historic cobblestone streets.  It gave me the distinct vibe of a world-class ski town, just completely devoid of snow.

We happened to visit in August, but you need to understand that there is no such thing as normal summer weather in Ireland.  Summer out here is really just Fall, strongly resembling the erratic weather patterns we ran into in New Zealand.

The Galway Racing Festival

We got incredibly lucky and hit town during the Galway Horseracing Festival, and the place was absolutely buzzing.  The closest thing I can compare it to is major race days back home like the Travers Stakes at Saratoga or the Melbourne Cup at Flemington.  The big difference?  The Travers is a weekend party and the Melbourne Cup is a single day—but the Galway Racing Festival runs for an entire consecutive week.  The track was incredibly festive, and the Guinness was flowing like water both at the track and in the city pubs.  If you can time your visit to match this racing week, you’ll be golden.

I’ll be the first to admit that I have absolutely no clue when it comes to fashion.  My idea of dressing up is throwing on my nicest pair of cargo shorts and my dressier flip-flops.  Out of the thousands of people packed into the Galway races, I was easily the most underdressed guy in the crowd. Everyone else looks like they’re attending a high-society formal reception, decked out in skin-tight skinny jeans and ultra-tailored, form-fitting suits.

It made me realize that the only suit I own—which is currently sitting in a storage unit in Las Vegas—is a baggy, pleated number that is probably wildly out of style. I’m just going to have to wait a few decades until pleats come back around, because I ain’t buying a new suit anytime soon after dropping out of society.  Watching these young guys squeeze their bodies into these skin-tight dress outfits completely baffled my mind.  It looked uncomfortable as hell, but considering the sheer volume of beer they were pounding, they could have been wearing straightjackets and still been having a blast.  Thankfully, dropping out of the system lets me keep dressing like a total bum, exactly the way I like it.

The Science of the Perfect Pint

If you like beer, Ireland is Mecca.  I can personally vouch that the Guinness out here tastes out-of-this-world good compared to back home.  If you ask a local where to get the absolute best pint in town, you will get a different answer every single time.

According to local lore, what makes a world-class pour usually comes down to the “length of the draw”—meaning the distance the beer has to travel through the tube from the keg to the tap handle.  I was also informed by some old-timers that traditional Guinness is supposed to be served just slightly below room temperature.  When the company rolled out “Guinness Extra Cold,” the old-school Irish traditionalists publicly scoffed.

Our absolute favorite spot for casual dining was Monroe’s Tavern.  Imagine a classic, vintage Irish pub experience but with significantly elevated food.  During the day, they broadcast live horse racing on every screen with the audio turned up loud.  Hearty, home-cooked comfort food, perfect Guinness, and live racing—it’s a degenerate’s absolute dream.

Every other storefront in Southeast Asia is a massage parlor; out here in Ireland, every other storefront is a pub.  The entire hospitality landscape is essentially a massive turf war between the “M’s” and the “O’s”:

Connemara Area (CLIFDEN / LETTERFRACK / LEENAUN):

The second you veer off the main highway and dive into the true Irish countryside, the scenery goes into overdrive.  We broke up our drive with a stop in the quaint town of Clifden for a killer lunch at Guy’s Bar.  After devouring a top-tier Irish beef cheeseburger, we pointed the wheels toward the nearby Sky Road Drive.

This upper and lower loop is famous in the Connemara region, and it definitely lives up to the hype as one of the most impressive coastal drives in the country.  The steep ascent along the cliff edges gives you incredible, panoramic views of Clifden Bay and its scattered islands.  We also made a quick stop to check out the ruins of Clifden Castle, giving us our first up-close taste of an old-school, dilapidated Irish fortress.

Our favorite activity out here was simply driving between the tiny rural towns and soaking in the landscapes.  We loved watching the endless rolling green hills, stone walls, and fields of sheep, horses, and cows—all of which Barbie spoiled rotten by hand-feeding them healthy treats at every fence line.

We shacked up in an awesome Airbnb for a few nights in Letterfrack, right in the heart of Connemara National Park.  A major highlight in the area was catching the Joyce Country Sheepdog Demonstration.  The drive out from Letterfrack was beautiful, but once we dropped into the deep valley near the farm, the mountain scenery became beyond spectacular.

Joyce’s Sheepdog Breeders

Kilkee Beach:

Heading south from Connemara, we passed through the town of Cong, home to Ashford Castle—the ultra-exclusive estate where pro golfer Rory McIlroy got married.  If you’ve got big league bucks, you can spend the night inside the castle walls.

During our three-hour journey down to Kilrush, we got to experience the true thrill of Ireland’s notoriously tight backroads.  A few moments were genuinely sketchy, especially when you find yourself squeezed between a massive oncoming farm tractor and a historical stone wall butting right up against your passenger door.  Barbie was hyper-critical of my driving techniques during these tight squeezes, which is exactly where the 20-Year Tune-Out comes into play.

Flashpacker Life Lesson: After being in a relationship for 20 years and traveling the world together every single day, you develop the survival art of selective hearing. Barbie’s commentary on my driving didn’t phase me one bit—I simply flipped the switch into tune-out mode and kept rolling.

Driving through this part of County Clare feels like hanging out in Bedrock from The Flintstones. Rocks are everywhere.  Houses are built solid out of stone, and there’s no such thing as a wooden privacy fence; every property line is marked by massive piles of expertly stacked fieldstones.

We stayed in the working-class town of Kilrush to keep accommodation costs down while exploring the Cliffs of Kilkee.  If you want to see towering ocean cliffs without the tourist nonsense, the Kilkee Coastal Ocean Cliff Walk (which kicks off right by the Diamond Rocks Cafe) is a mandatory trek.

The walk was spectacular, and best of all, it was completely devoid of the tour-bus crowds you find at Moher.  It easily lands a spot in our top 10 scenic walks of this entire round-the-world journey.  If you have serious balls, you can join the crazy locals who freeze their asses off swimming in the Pollock Holes—three natural tidal swimming pools that form when the tide pulls out.  The icy water didn’t seem to phase them at all, most likely due to the pure volume of Guinness pumping through their veins.

Pollock Holes – Kilkee

Kilkee Cliffs

Kilkee Cliffs

Pollock Holes – Kilkee

County Kerry: Dingle and Killarney

From Kilkee, we took the ferry across the Shannon estuary and navigated through the dramatic Conor Pass to reach the Dingle Peninsula.  Dingle is a fantastic little port town known for its wild, rugged scenery, hiking trails, and sandy beaches.

We perfectly timed our arrival to land right in the middle of the Dingle Racing Festival, the biggest weekend of the year for the peninsula.  We were locked, loaded, and ready to wager on the ponies. The streets were absolutely electric, packed with classic pubs for drinking pints and eating heavy pub grub.

The absolute highlight here is the Slea Head Loop, a scenic driving route that starts and ends right in town.  The coastal views are “Holy Shit, Goddamn” amazing—no bullshit.  There are a ton of dramatic scenic overlooks and hidden beaches along the way, our absolute favorite being Coumeenoole Beach. We spent a massive chunk of time just hanging out on the sand watching the wild Atlantic waves roll in.  The views looking down over Dunquin Harbour weren’t too shabby either.

[The Dingle Must-Do Route]
Dingle Town ──> Conor Pass Ascent ──> Slea Head Loop ──> Sunset at Coumeenoole Beach

From Dingle, an easy drive brought us into Killarney, stopping briefly at the sweeping Inch Beach to breathe in the crisp ocean air and watch a handful of brave surfers tackling the chilly waters. Killarney itself is a heavy tourist town packed with pubs, so the best strategy is to immediately get out of the commercial center and head straight into nature at Killarney National Park.

The park is beautiful.  We took a fantastic forest hike out to Torc Waterfall, stopping off at Muckross Lake and checking out the historic Muckross House along the way.  We wrapped up the region by driving the famous Ring of Kerry, making sure to stop for a trek along the Kerry Cliffs.  These marked our third official set of massive ocean cliffs on this Irish tour, and they were spectacular, offering a relaxed spot on the grassy hills to look over Foilhommerun Bay on Valentia Island.  We decided to skip the popular boat tour out to Skellig Michael (the rocky islands where they filmed the Star Wars movies), but we got a good look at them from the coastal viewpoints along the highway.

Thru the Binocs

The Culinary Reality Check

Let’s talk about the food out here.  Before landing in Ireland, when I pictured traditional Irish pub grub, I expected a steady diet of Fish and Chips, Shepherd’s Pie, and Corned Beef with Cabbage. Well, let me set the record straight for anyone planning a trip: the Irish do not eat corned beef, and you won’t find it on a single authentic pub menu.  Furthermore, Shepherd’s Pie (or Cottage Pie) is widely considered more British than Irish by the locals.

Instead, my absolute favorite discovery was Coddle.  It’s a classic Dublin dish traditionally thrown together to use up leftovers, meaning there is no official recipe.  They basically throw a whole bunch of ingredients into a giant pot and stew it down.  The mix mostly consists of thick pork sausages, fatty back bacon, chunky potatoes, onions, and a healthy splash of Guinness.

Essentially, 90% of our meals in Ireland consisted of meat and potatoes, potatoes and meat, followed by more meat and more potatoes.  Honestly, I had absolutely no problem with this setup because the Irish know how to do hearty comfort food right.  The mashed potatoes out here are legendary.  Throw in an occasional order of fresh fish and chips or bangers and mash to mix things up, and you’ve got the entire cuisine down pat.  I also can’t forget to mention their local bakeries—their home-baked pies and fresh donuts are world-class.

The Locals

When it comes to the women of Ireland, they might not be winning conventional global beauty contests, but they are easily some of the absolute best people you will ever meet.  They can put away food and pints like absolute champions, and every single woman we encountered was over-the-top friendly, helpful, and full of classic Irish wit.

And finally, let’s talk about the abundance of pale skin out here.  If anyone ever wants to launch a military invasion against Ireland, they could effortlessly defeat the entire population just by beaming a consecutive week of harsh sunshine in their direction.  The Irish are incredibly lucky that Mother Nature blessed them with a built-in defense mechanism of perpetual cloud cover.

A typical summer weather report out here consists of rain and wind with a brief chance of sun.  The gray clouds roll on in, it drizzles and becomes windy as shit for twenty minutes, then the sun breaks through, and then the clouds immediately roll right back in to reset the cycle.

Our three weeks in Ireland are officially up.  We are heading back over to Amsterdam for about two weeks to relax, catch our breath in the coffeeshops, and then it’s officially time to board our long-haul flight to Asia.