Cruising Western Australia
Western Australia (WA) is the definition of an off-the-beaten-path destination. The beaches and national parks down here get a mere fraction of the tourist swarms that choke the East Coast, and Barbie and I absolutely loved driving through the wide-open, completely undeveloped spaces. In most other parts of the world, open land is viewed as an open invitation to build some ugly-ass high-rise. Out here in WA, they’ve left the wild land alone, and that untouched raw energy is exactly what makes the entire western region so beautiful.
Perth, the capital of WA, is one of the most isolated major cities on the face of the earth. To put it in perspective, Perth is actually closer to Bali than it is to Sydney. Honestly, it’s so close to Indonesia that Bali could practically be considered a suburb of Perth.
Long before I ever set foot in Australia, WA was the number-one spot I wanted to visit. It didn’t work out on my previous trips down under, so I was thrilled to finally get a full month allocated to tackle it. Because it’s such a vast land, we had to make an executive decision right out of the gate: head north of Perth or head south? We pulled the trigger and headed south. The deciding factor was simple—shorter driving distances between the major sights. Looking back, we probably could have covered both directions in our 30 days, but the climate going north would have been oppressively hot, humid, and rainy. Ain’t nobody got time for that.
Fremantle & Perth:
When locals in Perth want to actually kick back and unwind on the weekend, they head straight to Fremantle—or “Freo” as the locals call it. We are world-class “kick back” flashpackers and wanted to steer clear of the crowded downtown Perth core, so we elected to base ourselves in Freo for our first four nights to ring in the New Year. It was a fantastic choice by us savvy travelers. In fact, we loved our centrally located Fremantle Airbnb so much that we did a repeat visit for our final five nights at the end of the WA circuit.
Freo’s laid-back atmosphere has attracted a massive community of musicians, artists, and writers, giving the entire place a bohemian hippie vibe. To put it simply, life is just so damn pleasant and relaxed. You can just wander around on foot—no rental car required—and soak in the goodness. We walked and biked along the waterfront promenade, explored the colorful historic streets, checked out the street musicians, and had our pick of killer neighborhood beaches to chill on.
[The Perth-Area Beach Scouting Report]
* Cottesloe & Scarborough ──> Mega-popular local hangouts north of Freo.
* South Beach ──> Lively spot south of Freo (historic racehorse training ground).
* Port Beach ──> Perfect for grabbing beachside fish 'n' chips and dodging crowds.
We also ate our absolute asses off sampling ethnic street food at the Fremantle Weekend Market. For a bit of history, we took a really cool guided tour of the historic Fremantle Prison—though, unfortunately, I never did spot Andy Dufresne digging any tunnels.
Naturally, we also made it out to the Ascot racetrack in Perth to wager and win a little moolah on the ponies. Just a short train or ferry ride away is the Perth city center, where you can check out Kings Park. It is one of the largest and most impressive inner-city parks I have ever been to in the world. They host outdoor movies on the grass there where you can chill on a beanbag under the stars.
Rottnest Island:
Rottnest is a small island sitting just off the coast, about a 40-minute ferry ride from Fremantle. It has a permanent population of only about 100 people but draws in a massive 500,000 visitors a year. Fun fact: the place actually functioned as a military internment and prisoner-of-war camp during both World War I and World War II.
Today, the main reason tourists flock here is to see the Quokka. These little marsupials are found only on a few isolated islands off the WA coast and are roughly the size of a domestic cat. Flashpacking Barbie thought they looked like cute little furry balls of joy. I, on the other hand, thought they looked exactly like giant, oversized rats. Barbie was fiercely determined to feed them, which is precisely what she did—using a premium apple that I had explicitly earmarked for my beach snack.
The Big Doug Travel Equation: No automobiles allowed on an island = A truly great place.
Beyond the oversized rats, Rottnest is famous for its beaches—63 of them, to be exact. We rented some bikes and spent the entire day cycling from cove to cove in blissful, car-free freedom. Automobiles are completely banned on the island, and The Basin quickly became our absolute favorite swimming hole.
Driving the Southern Cape
For the next three weeks, we drove our rental car south into the famous Margaret River region. Here is the straight talk on the coastal towns we hit:
Busselton
We only stayed here because it was peak vacation season for Aussie families and our first-choice locations were completely booked solid. Busselton served as a cost-effective base for two nights to explore Cape Naturaliste, but the town itself is a total zero. To quote the old Kingpin: “It’s one boring mother-fucking town.” Skip it if you can.
Dunsborough
Now this is a nice, upscale town. It sits closest to the absolute best white-sand beaches in the Northern Cape, including Bunker Bay, Meelup Beach, and Scott’s Beach. If you are planning a trip to the upper Cape, this is the premier spot to base your operations.
Yallingup
The ocean on this side of the Cape is significantly rougher than the land-protected bays of Meelup or Bunker. A visit to the dramatic, crashing waves at Canal Rocks is a mandatory stop, which you can easily follow up with a cooling-out session at nearby Scott’s Beach.
We also dropped by the Yallingup Shearing Shed, which was real fun. We got the opportunity to physically shear the wool off a few sheep and bottle-feed the baby lambs. Immediately after the feeding session, I politely and compassionately explained to the lambs that we would be eating their chops for dinner that evening.
[BFD Learning Moment]
Sheep have zero upper teeth. They are completely harmless and cannot bite you.
Result: Big Doug got real brave and started herding them around with supreme authority.
Margaret River:
Heading further south landed us in Margaret River, the main tourist hub of the region. It is a phenomenal place to base yourself. The area is renowned for the hundreds of rolling vineyards spread across the countryside. If you are a heavy wine drinker who enjoys getting a little sloppy in a beautiful setting, this will be your absolute haven. If wine isn’t your speed, the area has also developed a killer craft beer scene with more than six premium microbreweries.
Our primary attraction to Margaret River, however, was the plethora of wild coastal beaches flanking the region. These aren’t your typical tourist-trap commercial beaches with tacky souvenir shops and chain restaurants lining the asphalt. These beaches back right up to massive natural sand dunes, rugged cliffs, and coastal scrub. The water is crystal clear and the sand is pure, blinding white. On a clear, sunny day, the water color is spectacular. Our absolute favorites were Gas Bay, Hamelin Bay (where you can literally stand in the shallows and swim with massive wild stingrays), Redgate Beach, and the world-famous Surfers Point.
The actual town of Margaret River has great, high-energy vibes. The main drag is packed with local bakeries and specialty coffee houses that helped get our days started completely zooted up on premium caffeine before we hit the coast.
For dinner, we completely eschewed the local restaurant scene and stuck strictly to Barbie’s home cooking. Our menu? A massive daily dose of local Australian lamb chops, which we ate every single night. We simply could not pass up the freshest, juiciest lamb on planet earth, and amazingly, we never once tired of it. You can purchase the meat directly from the neighborhood farms —it doesn’t get any fresher than watching the sheep graze in the green fields on your morning drive. Australia has the largest sheep population on the globe, and because supply is so massive, the prices for these world-class lamb chops were about one-fourth of what we get hosed for back in the States.
Denmark & Albany:
A three-and-a-half-hour drive southeast from Margaret River brought us to the sleepy, ultra-relaxed south-coast town of Denmark. We broke up the road trip with a lunch stop in Pemberton and a stroll through the Valley of the Giants Tree Top Walk. They’ve engineered these massive, elevated steel platforms high in the canopy so you can walk right alongside these colossal tingle trees.
Once we rolled into Denmark, we spent our time chilling at Waterfall Beach and the world-famous Green Pools. We fed the local alpacas at an animal park and even got to watch a couple of wild kangaroos “doing the right thing” and aggressively banging each other out in the middle of an open field.
From Denmark, we pushed into Albany. It’s spelled exactly the same way, but let me assure you, it is in no way, shape, or form similar to the gloomy, depressing capital city of New York. This Albany is home to pristine nature reserves and national parks that protect some of the absolute greatest coastal coves in Australia.
The Beach Guru Verdict: Little Beach inside the Two Peoples Bay Nature Reserve is officially the single best beach in all of Australia. It is a flawless natural masterpiece. No bullshit.
Misery Beach (which is a total hidden gem) and the massive crashing blowholes at The Gap—both located inside Torndirrup National Park—are absolute, non-negotiable must-sees. The beaches in Western Australia are first-rate and easily stack up against the best in the world. Because they sit on protected parklands, there are no grand commercial tourism developments ruining the view, which has unfortunately spoiled so many of the legendary beaches throughout Southeast Asia.
The Ultimate Beach Lowdown: Western Australia
Being the nice guy that I am, I am officially releasing my complete, beach lowdown for the region. Any visit to Western Australia must include a visit some of these masterpieces. Just remember that the weather is highly volatile down here, so make sure to plan your visits on a clear, sunny day and stick strictly to the peak Australian summer months (December through February) to get the optimal weather.
🏖️ Perth City & Rottnest Island
- South Beach, Fremantle – Lively local atmosphere.
- Cottesloe, Perth – A thoroughly good city beach.
- The Basin, Rottnest Island – An absolute personal favorite.
- Scarborough Beach, Perth – Great energy and sand.
🏖️ Cape Naturaliste
- Bunker Bay Beach – A certified favorite.
- Meelup Beach – Right on the money; another favorite.
- Busselton Beach – Big El Zippo. Skip it.
🏖️ Leeuwin-Naturaliste (Easy day trips from Margaret River)
- Gas Bay Beach – A favorite.
- Scott’s Beach – Spectacular sand; another favorite.
- Gnarabup Beach – Great coastal views.
- Yallingup Beach – Rugged and beautiful.
- Hamelin Bay – The spot to swim with the massive wild stingrays.
- Redgate Beach – Elite surf beach.
- Surfers Point – World-class surf break and viewing area.
🏖️ Denmark
- Waterfall Beach – Pristine and relaxing.
- Green Pools Beach – An absolute stunner.
🏖️ Albany
- Little Beach @ Two Peoples Bay Nature Reserve – Tremendous. The undisputed king of the coast.
- Misery Beach @ Torndirrup National Park – Rock-solid hidden gem.
- Middleton Beach – Beautiful wide stretch of sand.
Thru the Binocs
One of the things I am going to miss most about this country is the hilarious shorthand nicknames they have for absolutely everything. It took me a little while to get used to these soft, wimpy linguistic shortcuts, but they grow on you:
Big Doug & Barbie Drop Out of Society 